He is a man of his words. It will happen.

Was that a prayer? Or was that my wishy washy fantasy?

That was what I heard in my head, a few days ago while thinking about T.

Why was I so positively and naively believing in goodness?

I don’t know,,, but perhaps, something about training myself in dealing with all challenges and fear with positive attitude.

The truth is that…

When a man or a woman is so entrenched with ambitions to pursue his or her dreams… to become only the best, the most valuable… there is often, no room for other small pleasurable things to happen. Small simple things just don’t belong in the pursuit of hard-core, stoic greatness.


That man or woman is fully aware and awaken spiritually of his and her intrinsic value.

So,,, I knew, this was going to be the answer that I will arrive to.

I knew he was not going to answer my invitation.

Was I proud of myself for doing things differently? For speaking out my desire openly?

Right now, the answer is; No.

But I know, that’s probably because it still hurts. Give it a bit more time, then I am sure, I can look back and reflect on all these in more lightness and kindness.

Another truth is …

There is no love, my love, if you do not wish to feel the pain.

No pain, no gain. Take the crooked with the straights.

Yes. Yes.

In Love and In Life.

With every inch of growth, with every love and tenderness… also comes pain and sorrow.

I am sorry and disappointed that I couldn’t learn more about him. It’s strange but I really want to know more about Life from other people’s perspectives… I picked him because he was obvious enough to have a completely diferent lifestyle, culture, upbringing and gender.

He’s not the outspoken social type though…. haha. So, I really picked a tough challenge.

J’s husband’s theory is that a man can never be your friend. He will either be a love interest or if that fails, then he will be a stranger. Never a man friend.


I think I am trying to defy his hypothesis.

What do you think?


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