I saw his face on the weekly newsletter and my mind started firing questions…
Is that really how he looks like? The face that I once adored…
My heart gave me strange sensations… As if it was having amnesia or a de javu… It wasn’t sure how to react… aches， pains and blues for a story has came to an end… glee， wonder and relief for an answer， for a chance to know what’s really going on in his life， for seeing his face for the last time; albeit still and captured in time.
He looks different though. He feels different to my soul. He wasn’t who I remembered him to be.
He always have an air of arrogance in him… The Alpha male. But， back then I can see and feel the light and airyness， the softness of his being and soul… In his smile， in his tone of voice.
But this picture of him… He has aged. There was no softness in his face even though he was smiling at the camera. Dare I say， there was darkness in his eyes even when he was smiling… and a glimpse of fear… Covered with a giant wall of arrogance and pride.
Has so much changed in the last few months?
Or has he always been this way?
It’s strange how the universe works. But I am slowly starting to trust its way.
The day before I saw his photograph on the newsletter， his name popped up in a conversation…
So I did facilitate a little bit， hoping to get a glimpse of news on him. And that I did.
He’s a dad now.
“Had a baby four weeks before the exams…”
Which made it just shy of two months old.
There was a show and tell of the newborn and daddy， but I didn’t join that.
“Yeah crazy. He’s an international mystery man…” were the words I heard to describe him. I listened from afar， trying not to look affected by the news.
What a choice of description; I thought.
Wonder what happen………
That afternoon I took a walk around the park… as I walk towards my favourite spot， I felt a release; a sense of guidance， an answer， an ending. I haven’t smiled the way I did that afternoon for along time….. it was the bittersweet realisation that I am forever guided… that whatever prayers I said to the universe， it will answer me.